Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?

Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-

Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!

Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.

Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.

Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-

Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.

Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-

Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.

Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.

Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.

Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.

Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."

Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.

Zooey Deschanel: *dances*

Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

ᄏ: Play any instruments?

ω: Have you ever dyed your hair? If so, what color(s)?

△: Have you ever painted the walls of your room?

【・ヘ・?】: Ever tripped in front a bunch of people?

＊: When was the last time you tied your hair up? (if your hair is long enough)

旦: Last time you drove your car (if you can drive/have one)?

愛: Are you currently dating?

太: When it's New Year's, do you make New Year Resolutions and actually commit to them?

＠: Ever felt attracted to the opposite sex before?

(｀▽´)Ψ: Did you used to play hide-and-seek when you were little inside stores?

(づ￣ ³￣)づ : Have you ever had to hug someone you didn't want to?

空: Did you ever throw up after one roller coaster ride or a few?

☆: Have you ever played games such as 'Spin the Bottle'?

⊙: Are you happy with where you are in life right now?

ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ: Have you ever wanted to flip a table before? If so, why?

ピ: Did you like Pokemon as a child?

(⌒.−): Are there times where you wish to go back in time and redo or fix something you regret?

♪: Do you find yourself singing or humming to yourself sometimes?

☁: Ever wanted to learn a foreign language?

(;° ロ°): Have you ever lost your wallet or purse?

ス: Have you ever swallowed gum?

♀: Tell me something that turns you on.

♂: Tell me something that turns you off.

≋: Post a picture of yourself.

⅚: Post the link if your current favorite song.

ღ: Post a gif of what you're currently feeling right now.

≘: Have you ever watched the sun rise?

☄: Would you defend a friend if they were in danger?

હ: Are you still a virgin?

➍: Ever been to a concert? Was it fun?

♛: Do you like group projects?

高: How often do you use headphones/earbuds?

ಲ: Headphones or earbuds?

♞: Showers or baths?

✗: Walks on the beach or in a forest?

⊙﹏⊙: Which horror movie scared you the most? If any?

^∇^: Has your best friend ever made you angry?

（．＿．）: Do you think you are an awkward person?

メ: Cupcakes or muffins?

(●´∀｀●): Ponies or Horses?

♯: Would you like to be able to fly?

(ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ: Ever done or considered to do drugs?

ℝ: What color shirt are you currently wearing?

☪: Have you ever flipped off someone?

♬: Cats or dogs?

礼: Would you swim in the lake or ocean?

の: Chocolate or Vanilla?

◐: Have you ever seen a meteor shower?

ᄇ: Have you ever broken a bone?

었: Any tattoos?

싫: Any piercings?

ℨ: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

ℋ: Tell us a recent awkward moment you had.

♔: Know the Duck Song? The Llama Song? Banana Phone? Shut Up Woman, Get On My Horse?

۞: What shows did you watch when you were a child?

▼: Could you live without the internet?

Д: Strangest food you've eaten?

까: Cookies or brownies?